i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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