This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
