My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
the day after is always just damage control
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
