you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
