You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
