Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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