i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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