I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
