we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
