The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he thought i was a dude.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
