I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
