he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
