she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
