I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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