Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
