The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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