Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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