I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
