My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
