I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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