guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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