Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
