that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just pee around me
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
