He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
