Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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