told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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