Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
