And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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