Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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