Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Houston, we have a blender
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
