Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
