I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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