just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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