Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
