hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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