U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
