At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
