He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
