My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
why is half of my head shaved?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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