just tell him i said nine months
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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