There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
