you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
