Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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