i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
im on a boat
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