Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
