Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
