we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It's shark week go big or go home
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
