why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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