How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
