I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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